Visiting family during the holidays is always special—it’s a time to slow down and reconnect with the people in our lives who matter most. However, these visits can also reveal how our loved ones are truly managing everyday responsibilities at home. This holiday season, take advantage of this time with your loved ones to check in on their well-being and quality of life. 

Why health check-ins are important during the holidays 

The holidays are often one of the few times each year when families truly slow down and come together in person. Amid the warmth and celebration, these gatherings can provide the opportunity to see how our aging loved ones are really managing life at home.  

For many families, spending time together in the same space can often highlight changes that have been quietly accumulating over the year. Even if the family keeps in touch through phone calls or video chats, certain shifts in a loved one’s health or daily habits can be hidden, whereas when you’re face-to-face, you might notice things that don’t come across on a screen.  

Maybe your dad seems more aloof than usual, or your mom moves around the house a bit more slowly. Or, you might notice that the house isn’t as tidy as it used to be, the fridge is emptier or filled with expired foods, or once-cherished routines have started to slip. These things aren’t necessarily cause for alarm on their own, but they can be gentle reminders to pay attention.  

Ultimately, the holidays can offer an all-too-rare opportunity to notice and reflect. During your next family visit, make sure that loved ones are getting the support they need to stay happy and healthy in the months ahead. 

Subtle signs indicating a loved one needs in-home care 

Subtle shifts, such as a quiet decline in memory or physical mobility, can be easy to overlook and difficult to accept, especially when the loved one has been thought of as independent and capable. However, noticing these clues and planning how to address them can make all the difference in your loved one’s quality of life—and even help prevent a more serious health event from occurring down the road. 

Take a moment to slow down and keep an eye out for the following indicators that your loved one may need some extra help at home. 

Cognitive changes 

Changes in mood or behavior can indicate potential cognitive decline. Some forgetfulness is normal with age, which is why it’s crucial to know the difference between what’s normal and what’s not, especially as loved ones get older.  

Signs of changes in their cognitive health may include: 

• Frequent confusion or frustration: Do they get lost in familiar spaces or keep forgetting where they place their TV remote? 

• Trouble following conversations: Do they lose their train of thought in most conversations or ask you to repeat yourself often?  

• Mood swings or changes in behavior: Do they lose their temper more easily or seem more emotional than before? 

• Social withdrawal: Are they staying connected with their friends and getting out of the house regularly? 

Physical changes 

Changes in physical appearance can indicate that your loved one is struggling with a mental health issue, like loneliness or depression, or that their mobility has diminished enough to affect their ability to care for themselves.  

Signs of changes in their physical health may include: 

• Noticeable weight loss or gain: This can indicate that they’re struggling to cook healthy meals or keep up with an exercise routine. 

• Increased clumsiness or accidental falls: This can indicate a decline in their physical dexterity, balance, or even vision. 

• Difficulty using stairs or getting up from a chair: This can mean they’re struggling with their strength and mobility. 

• Poor hygiene or disheveled appearance: This can sometimes indicate a mental health issue like depression or low self-esteem, or it can mean they are physically struggling to bathe and dress themselves. 

• Excessive fatigue: This might indicate poor sleep quality, a possible nutritional deficiency, or a mental health issue. 

Home environment 

Their home environment can give you subtle cues as to how an aging loved one is managing daily life. It can also indicate that they’re struggling to prepare their own meals, keep their space clean, or remember daily tasks. 

Such changes to make note of can include: 

• Expired foods in the cupboards or refrigerator can signal that they’re struggling to restock their groceries and likely aren’t getting the nourishment they need. 

• Scorched pots or pans might mean they forgot to turn the stove off after cooking, or forgot they were cooking altogether. 

• Unopened mail or unpaid bills could indicate they’re struggling with their finances, forgetting to pay their bills, or struggling with mental health. 

• Unusually messy rooms can be an indicator of a number of health issues and can pose a potential fall hazard. 

Tips for starting the conversation  

While not all of these signs are cause for immediate concern, they are worth noting. If you observe any of these changes during your holiday visit, take some time to reflect and plan your next steps carefully. Addressing them during your holiday visit may not be the most appropriate time. Here are a few tips to help you navigate your conversation and decide on the next steps toward acquiring support. 

1. Involve trusted family members 

It’s often best to bring up your concerns with other family members before approaching your loved one directly, especially if multiple people are involved. Discuss what each person has noticed and agree on how to express your concern in a united yet compassionate way. It can also help to appoint one person to lead the discussion so that you avoid overwhelming your loved one with too many voices and opinions.  

Keep in mind that this talk may not be a one-time deal. Conversations like these are often open-ended and ongoing. The goal isn’t to make big changes overnight, but to lovingly open a door to the idea of help in the future. 

2. Approach the discussion with sensitivity 

When you feel ready to start the conversation about a loved one’s changing needs, it’s normal to feel uncomfortable. The key is to approach the discussion with empathy and patience, not urgency or alarm. Instead of diving straight into what you think is wrong, try sharing what you’ve noticed with care and love.  

Framing your observations as concern rather than criticism will help your loved one feel respected and heard rather than feeling accused or defective. Here are a couple of examples of conversation-starters: 

• “I’ve noticed you seem more tired lately. How are you feeling?” 

• “I noticed it’s been harder to keep up with some things around the house. Are you doing okay?” 

• “I noticed you didn’t attend your aerobics class this week. Do you need a ride?” 

3. Listen to what they have to say 

Sometimes, older adults may downplay their struggles or symptoms for fear of losing their independence or becoming a burden. Reassure them that your goal isn’t to take control, but to make sure they have the support they need to live safely and comfortably.  

Ask them genuine questions about what kind of help they would find most useful and let them be part of the decision-making process. This will help the conversation feel more collaborative rather than confrontational or one-sided. 

In-home care can help 

At HomeWell, we understand how challenging it can be to make the right decision for your family. If you have concerns about a loved one’s health and well-being, we’re just a phone call away. Our team is here for you and can quickly provide an in-home assessment and build a personalized care plan that brings peace of mind—not just for your loved one, but for your whole family. Give us a call today to learn more about our professional in-home care services. 

Disclaimer: The content provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.